I decided to go around the
country and beyond to ask people about what do they think about the world
coming to an end on 21st December. I got quite a mixed response.
Here are excerpts from my talk to various people:
We all know that people from Uttar
Pradesh (UP) are very innocent. So, when I asked them, they completely
ridiculed this piece of information; they said it cannot happen now. When asked
how can you be so confident? They said Mayan civilization and also the Mayan
calendar ended with the government of Mayawati, so the news is irrelevant. Also
these innocent people are sure that is it Maya calendar and therefore it cannot
be true. Moreover now we are part of Mulayan
civilization, so we are not sure about the world, but UP will definitely
end in next five years.
When I asked our super
intelligent leader Rahul Gandhi about this, he said wtf! Why did no body tell
me about this? He immediately called Digvijay Singh and asked him what to say,
he said tell them “Ismein RSS ka haath hai”. He said wtf! to him as well. After
listening to such high level of stupidity I realized who is sharing the bulk of
90% of fools in India that Justice Katju mentioned.
Then I asked Arvind Kejrival, he
started shouting slogans and said “ aap kaun hotey hain ye decide karne wale,
ye toh aam aadmi decide karega”. He said world cannot end before Jan Lokpaal
Bill is passed, and then called Anna
Hazare to discuss next fast until death before world ends. Kapil Sibal full of
frustration simply said “People suck and they deserve to die” and pledged to
open 10 more IITs before 21st December. He also revealed the secret
behind opening so many IITs, he said he hates Jairam Ramesh.
All the engineering students said
it’s useless now, it should have ended before end sem exams. But still all the CAT aspirants are hopeful
that world will end before the IIMs declare their cutoff list and save them from
humiliation again. Students in IITs are more concerned about losing their
virginity before losing their life. You can observe the sudden increase in
marriages in this month, due to the same reason.
People in software companies have
become so hopeless and can’t believe that the world is ending before weekend
(21st is Friday). When I asked one guy from infosys, he became too
emotional and killed himself instantaneously by smashing his head into his
laptop and the screen displayed “program terminated successfully”.
And finally I decided to go
beyond and talked to people from Planet Nibiru by activating the machine of Koi
mil gya (using pau paun paun paun script) and asked if they are gonna smack us
or not. Firstly they did not answer for many days, but then they said, if you
play that shit one more time, we will smack you right now.
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