Oh! the beauty of Salamanca...

Oh the beauty of Salamanca,
tell me what am I looking for,
when all I could see is fog, mist and snow;
tell me what brings me here,
into this land of forest, ranches and meadow.

Let’s walk together to know more,
the limitless beauty to adore and to explore.
Farms so vast, bare trees, woods and lanes,
I see earth transcending into mountains;
Striving towards the top of the mountain ridge,
I find a breach on my connecting bridge.

Ah! It’s not raining, I am not drenched,
but I don’t deny being soaked in you,
into your flaming fragrance and beauty so true.
Bound in your beauty and yet I feel so free,
Cuddled and bushed up into your arms,
it feels I am bound in the fetters of your charm.

Oh the beauty of Salamanca,

how far I need to walk, and how deep I want to go, 

what are your concealed mysteries that I wish to know. 

I am here to reveal myself or is it something I wish to find,
what is it that takes me and what is it I am craving for,

I must know before I stop, what am I looking for.

*Salamanca is a beautiful town in Spain, I happened to visit there once and this poem is inspired by that place. The interpretation is as always is for the reader. :)

Soak no more into your “Shadow”…

Everybody has a shadow. It is not just your planar projection, it’s deep, very deep. It has a whole world of its own and you too are not beyond the realm of it. The very existence of the conscious and unconscious mind derives the ravaging battle of man against himself.  As defined by Carl Jung “The shadow exists as part of the unconscious mind and is composed of repressed ideas, weaknesses, desires, instincts and shortcomings.” Many a times we talk to ourselves, with conflicting thoughts manoeuvring our rational behaviour. This is nothing but a conflict of our shadow with reality. The shadow will always restrain you. Never allow your shadow to reign you, never undermine your power.

Our fears breathe in our shadow, the more the fears are the darker the shadow becomes. And the darkness of shadow further increases its potency. It then becomes a vicious circle, the fears, weaknesses etc. keep on increasing and shadow keeps on becoming dark. What is needed is to get to know your shadow, interact with it, face it and bring things out of it. There is always an option to live your whole life with fears and blame your failures on others and things like destiny. But valiant is the man who takes a stand against all odds. It takes strength to go against people that surround you, but it takes a mighty courage to go against your shadow.

Many of us live in a fear of faux pas (social blunder), but that originates from our shadow. Our actions are conjugated with the fear of social acceptance. And for the sake of society we are ready to betray our dreams, our love, our life... Can such a person ever gain respect in his own eyes? Can he call him righteous? The guilt will darken his shadow and it’s painful to be effaced.    

Let not your weakness surmount you, do not suppress your dreams, do not eschew or evade reality, believe in your instincts. Shun all your fears, rip all your weaknesses and anything that stops you from living life. Soak no more into your shadow, it will only become dark, and you will never be able to dissolve it. Let not any shadow darken the sunny spot in life…  

Voice of a Rebel (The curious case of twenty-something guy)...

I am asking him to calm down, but he is not listening to me. He is asking me questions that I can’t answer.  That’s why I am calling him a rebel or I guess that’s what society calls a rebel. The rebel in me is talking to myself, he wants some answers. He is adamant and is asking me to go and find them. I am telling him it’s not possible for me, but he refuses to abide. There are rules, which he wants to break, and I want to keep.

I have told him several times that not every dream is supposed to come true and not everybody is supposed to understand your feelings. Sleepless nights will always be a part of your life and you cannot stop being restless. Life suddenly becomes a philosophy, thinking suddenly becomes rational, and people suddenly become smarter. It is all the curious case of twenty something guy. You feel that this all happens in a jiffy, you get no time to grow up and you feel trapped in the world where no one is able to understand you. The rebel keeps telling me that life is not fair, I keep telling him why do you expect it to be fair, who told you that? It’s not if you are good, the world will be good to you. It’s not if you love everybody, then everybody will love you too. How many times do I have to say, Stop Expecting!

He questions even my existence, I have started doubting my life, and it makes me scared. He is afraid of changes, he wants to live in the past, no matter how good or bad it was. The more he tries to keep the past close, the more he coasts away from the present. I keep telling him that everything has to end one day, the beauty is ephemeral and suffering is eternal, that’s how you are made to live. Why do you remind me only of bad times, I fucking hate this!

I do not understand and rather I do not wish to understand this world. Let me walk, please do not rebel. Let me float on the clouds of my dream land, where I am the king. Where no matter what happens I will keep doing things my way. Where I do not have to think about what people say. I still know how to laugh, I still know how to fight, I still know how to get up if I fall. Please do not choke me, suffocate me. Let me alone, let me be myself…

Finishing B.Tech is like losing virginity...

I am done with my engineering, I managed to survive. Finishing B.Tech feels like losing your virginity. Everybody is saying that I am gonna be fucked outside in the job world. It doesn’t make a difference to me - I felt quite fucked up here as well. I used to get gang raped in viva with lab assistant making my MMS. After first year I adopted the policy of “when you cannot avoid it, enjoy it “. Even after studying four years, my knowledge about subjects tends to zero and confusion about what to do in life tends to infinity. I have expertise only in counter strike and CAT is my favourite hobby (for next few more years). I am also an active supporter of Program of Natural Development of youth (PONDY), it is considered as best stress relieving program.

B.Tech is not a degree; it’s a strange phenomenon, with many paranormal activities involved. Lectures can bring mysterious sleep (I always felt insomniac during weekend because of no lectures); The peculiar ritual to beat the ass out of the B’day boy with NCC boots; Aliens like phattu, todu, bond, DJ, doga, baba, gattu, etc. (few have been censored) found only inside campus; going for a morning walk after a night out; drinking at hostel roof at 2 am; peeing at wardens door; bathing is as blasphemous as sleeping early etc etc. The only normal thing is being as happy as possible after screwing all exams.

IITians, considered as rare breed engineers, are nothing but Sex-deprived Pseudo dudes who realize their manhood only during cultural festivals. They feel they will turn into a chick-magnet after clearing JEE. Nothing such happens, but they still go with a same hope in the job or a MBA College. But there also girls are aware of their level of frustration and declare to turn Lesbian than to date an IITian. This struggle ends only after an arranged marriage.

After four years of lecture bunking, eating hopeless mess food, drinking all kinds of alcohol available and believing in Marijuana as the only herb known, I quite screwed up things. Ready or not, I am entering the second phase of my life. The only best thing I feel is a belief that I cannot fuck up things more than this. I have lost my virginity.  

Anyways, despite all fuck up, I will always cherish those beautiful four years where life kept boogieing on my terms.

Rohan

The (un)desirable and (un)wanted girls…

The desire of a male child leads to brutal killing of Afreen and Falak, clearly stating the message that you are not wanted here. A 23-year-old woman gets gang-raped in Gurgaon and our super active government comes with a solution in no time- NO women on streets after 8 pm. 

Fortunately if you can survive the foeticide, infanticide then unfortunately get ready to be raped. Women are assaulted at will and raped frequently even after marriage by their husband. Many countries have made spousal rape a criminal offence, not India. It is treated only as a form of noncriminal domestic violence and accepted as husband’s right.  

Being late out at night, drinking, talking, dressing, which is normal for a guy, if done by a girl, surprisingly becomes a perfect invitation for getting raped! It needs some strange extraterrestrial logic to explain this. I guess our police have something to explain here:

“If girls don’t stay within their boundaries, if they don’t wear appropriate clothes, then naturally there is attraction. This attraction makes men aggressive, prompting them to just do it.”

Rajpal Yadav
Additional SHO, Sector 29, Gurgaon


Bingo! I am sure every girl wants that rape-proof, anti-aggressive, anti-prompting, appropriate clothes.

 “You cannot drive alone at 2 am on Delhi’s roads and then claim that the Capital is unsafe. You should take your brother or driver with you. These reasonable precautions are expected to be taken by all citizens of the city.”

BK Gupta

Delhi Police Commissioner
Quite a reasonable precautions! Add one more – only couples to be allowed in the club must be siblings.

I mean what kind of biological phenomenon is this that a normal guy turns into a sex-crazy animal ready to rape any possible approachable female. And then what kind of law is this that blames women for this heinous crime. And then what kind of humans are we, tolerating this entire nuisance in the society.

In our country a female baby is killed by drowning, force feeding, abandoning and even burying alive. Our country’s capital is called the rape capital; where she is not safe even with her husband; where she cannot move freely and dress liberally. This isn't a sorry state of women, its the sorry state of men.

I feel sad when a girl passing by me and refuses to see into my eyes avoiding the so called wrong signal of, “inviting to rape”. I feel ashamed to be considered just another lewd lecherous guy by her. It is a distressing feeling to live in a society which makes some stupid postulation that the girl’s pride is above her life and then the same society rapes that pride off just to prove the point. Why do we need these proponents of gender equality, why do we need these women right commissions, why do we need special agencies to protect their rights, why do we need convoluted laws to give them justice? And we call our system liberal with equal rights to all, what kind of liberalism is this?

Yes, indeed they are undesired and unwanted at the time of their birth and if by chance they are into this world they are desired and wanted by these lecherous and obnoxious mentally ill men, who have lost their morality along with sanity.  

“Rape is a monstrous act, we are humans, let’s not forget that.”

That girl in green...

Angelic she looked wearing green,
taking me back to the days we were teen,
the charm and lure was there as ever before,
oozing out memories from the days of the yore.
The dark night, the restless sea and the ceaseless sky,
walking hand in hand with no destination to arrive,
I still remember it was February the twenty five…

Her blue eyes gleaming by the sparse moonlight,
the gold chain round her neck so bright,
the waves rising and falling for her single glance,
and the fog enveloping us with love and romance.
The silence of the night and a cold breeze of the sea side,
the moment I waited so long at last arrived,
when our eyes started talking and the words just died…

I wished for night to become abyss and eternal,
dwelling in each other’s eyes and the bliss perpetual,
feeling every moment of life along with her smile,
standing still and motionless and yet crossing a million mile.
But the moon was melting and the night was fading,
the time was running and she had to depart,
and I asked her, how will the love grow when we are apart…

She looked deep into my eyes and asked my heart,
Where do you wish to stay?
and it went to her before I had anything to say.
then she caressed me into the warmth of her arms,
before saying good-bye she whispered to my restive heart,
I will soon be wearing green,
and will meet you again on December the thirteen…

Speak Up!

Sometimes we are shy to speak, sometimes we don’t have the courage, sometimes we don’t speak thinking of the consequences, and sometimes we don’t speak because we are just too involved in other things. At times we also wait for the right time to speak, but death waits for nobody. And then you realize that you waited too long to speak up… and all that is left in the end is a dead hope, a broken promise and a few shattered dreams. So, speak up before it is too late. Speak up before the person is gone from your world. Unspoken feelings leave a deep chasm inside. A void difficult to be filled, because there is no close end to it. Be expressive; express to your loved ones every emotion inside. It’s always better to speak than to keep things inside.

Life is too short for hatred or vengeance. Speak in the tender language of affection and care, words from a kind heart could never hurt anybody. Make a commitment to yourself to speak up, to tell the people around how you feel about them, to tell them how important they are, how special they are for you. People come and go, what they take along are just memories, and its only words that can make that memory a sweet one and worth a remembrance. Also a distressed soul needs nothing but someone to speak to, be that patient listener to the distressed soul. Adore people when they are with you and remember them when they are gone, without regrets...